Sunday, 17 July 2011

This week's word is: GUFF

Surprisingly, that's not the name of a dragon...


Hello dragon fans. You may recall me telling you that most authors don't like the word 'synopsis'. Our author is one. He hates trying to describe his latest book in a page. However, now and then he will be asked by his publisher to do it. He always refuses, but promises to provide some 'guff' - a bit of waffle about what's happened in the story so far. Now, I'd love to be able to send you his actual 'guff', but it's not allowed, of course, because you'd all know what the story is prior to publication. However, he did say that if one of us could ... disguise it a bit he'd let it go out. So me, Gretel, Gwendolen and Gruffen (because he's got a book) had a go. Here's the result. Erm, enjoy. As best you can. Happy reading. Hrrr!


The early part of the book is to do with the pre-history of Gawain (the eponymous last dragon…) and traces the development of the mysterious character, Agawin, who was mentioned in Fire World. Agawin gets himself embroiled in a clash with a Norse-type villain. This is set at the time when the last remaining dragons on Earth have decided to give up their fire tears and die in isolation. One of them, Gsomething, settles on A Mountain and is tracked by the Norse-type villain, who wants to get a bit too close to Gsomething’s fire tear. Agawin and Norse-type villain have a bit of a punch up. All a bit ugly. Lots of death. Agawin looks certain to lose (boo!). However, he is in possession of a thingy, which helps him escape! (hooray!) Strangely, this means he ends up milking goats with Guinevere (the woman who caught Gawain’s fire tear in the original legend). Guinevere introduces Agawin to a cave woman, who is a bit smelly and not at all nice. At this time, a big bird turns up with a special egg. I’ll give you a clue: it’s not made of chocolate. Out pops a baby dragon. Nasty cave woman sends Agawin and Guinevere to the sea side to find a place for dragon baby to live. Along the way, they bump into two mysterious travellers. Traveler 1 explains that they have travelled across a time nexus to prevent nasty cave people messing around with time. Things turn sour when nasty cave woman puts the clocks back – and it’s not even winter! She then joins forces with Norse villain and Agawin suffers a bit of an identity crisis (gosh, he’s unlucky). Meanwhile, in the pre-history, the mysterious Travelers are trying to decide what’s best to do. Traveler 1 is troubled because he can’t understand why his thingy prefers nasty cave woman to him. He’s getting some real grief from Traveler 2 as well. The answer, of course, comes when everyone examines the tapestry of Isenfier and they realise it’s a stitch up! Traveler 1 comes to the conclusion he’s been duped by a bunch of clay dragons. Tsk, wouldn’t you know it? By the time Traveler 1 has figured it out, everyone he knew has gone on holiday to Co:pern:ica (the dead lands are lovely in the summer, apparently). There’s a big dust-up and a lot of fire and some more, well, death. The true hero of the books is revealed! A-ha! The hero winds up the clocks till they’re running nicely, everyone comes back from holiday and they all live happily ever after … with NO CLIFFHANGERS. Just a bit more death…

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