Sunday, 3 April 2011

This week's word is: PLASTERED

Hello dragon fans.  This week's blog post is dedicated to the author's head - or rather, a small part of his head that is now in a pot in a laboratory somewhere (cue maniacal laughter).  He's been tweeting rather proudly about his 'operation' and a lot of you seem confused about what exactly he's had done.  Regular followers of the Notepad will remember that a few months ago, what he thought was a normal 'spot' on the right side of his temple changed colour.  His doctor advised him to have it removed.  So on Tuesday this week he toddled off to a clinic at the local hospital (with me in his bag, taking notes, as always) to have 'the procedure'.  The surgeon drew a circle round the offending 'spot' and showed it to the author in a hand-held mirror.  "That's what needs to come out," he said.  "We also need to take a little of the area around the outside of the spot, just to be sure we've got it all.  Very straightforward.  You won't feel a thing - not until about three hours afterwards when the anaesthetic's worn off."  At that point, he produced a needle and injected a fluid into the author's head to, erm, numb it (which was a bit of a waste of a good anaesthetic if you want my opinion). Nine minutes later, it was all over.  The spot was chopped out and four neat stitches had been put into the cut to hold it together.  (The author had had a facelift.)  He said, "Are there likely to be any complications?"  The surgeon said, "You're lucky the spot wasn't further along or it might have affected a motor nerve above your eye.  Can you still do a shocked expression?"  The author said he wasn't sure.  "Well, imagine Kylie Minogue has just walked in to nurse you." The author made an expression.  The surgeon said, "That's more like delight than shock.  Can you raise both eyebrows?"  At which point, I jabbed the author's neck with my isoscele.  That raised his eyebrows all right.

So he came home with a big white plaster stuck to his temple.  Some ladies have commented that he looked a little 'macho'.  To us, he just looked like a man with a white post-it note on his head.  We thought you'd like to see what it looked like before the shower washed it away.

He's expected to have a scar, which he's convinced will make him appear more 'manly'.  (I blow a smoke ring in despair.)  When the stitches are out, we'll show it.  Thankfully, none of this has stopped him writing and he's pressing on with THE FIRE ASCENDING.  A big decision was made about the book this week.  It will NOT be in two volumes.  Everything will wind up in this book.  TFA will be the seventh and last.  And for all you fans in America and Canada who've been desperate to read FIRE WORLD, you are now only 23 days from publication.  Until next time.  Happy reading.  Hrrr!

Blog Archive